Prepper’s Guide to Pregnancy and Childbirth – Part III – Caring for Mama & Baby Postpartum

As a father – this is the easiest part.  You take care of mama and the other household members and she’ll take care of baby.  Taking care of mama sometimes means changing diapers and cleaning up spit-up.  It means sometimes holding the baby.  It may even mean cooking and doing laundry.  It’s a lot of work, but it’s easy because your role is well defined.  Works like this: Ask youself what needs to be done.  Then, compare the answer to that question with this sentence – “Feed the baby with my breast.”  If the two answers are not identical – then it’s your job.  Simple, right?

Let’s try one:  What needs to be done?  Someone needs to drink a beer.  Okay – does “someone needs to drink a beer” equal “Feed the baby with my breast” ?  No?  Then you have to do it.

One more: What needs to be done? Dinner.  Does dinner equal feed the baby with your breast? No.  You make dinner.

What kind of food does baby need? – None.  Mama will handle that.  Breastmilk is the best possible thing for baby.  Your only role here is not getting jealous.  No matter what you think or feel, there is an intended purpose for breasts and it is to supply babies with food.  They are not your playthings.

Diapers – disposable or cloth.  We use cloth.  From a prepper standpoint there is no other option.  We can buy all the cloth diapers we need for three years for about $600-$1200.  That doesn’t even cover the first year for disposables.  Storage room is minimal…takes a shelf.

Other things you’ll need – gentle shampoos, onesies and/or baby clothes…if you’re buying in advance think about seasonal weather…grandparents are famous for buying cute little shorts and t-shirts for babies born in November.  Silly.

Soft blankets.

We co-sleep, so we don’t even need a crib – but if you’d like a crib, get one.  If you drink or use drugs (including prescription ones) or if you are obese or have a disorder like narcolepsy, please don’t co-sleep.

If you breastfeed and co-sleep babies are easy.  They rarely cry or get collicky.

Now, if you’re about to flame me for co-sleeping, save it.  I know the arguments better than you do.  Bottom line: man has co-slept with babies for millenia.  When was the last time you rolled out of your bed in the middle of the night?  Exactly.  You’re equally likely to roll on top of a baby.

Now on to mama – what does mama need?  She needs you to check on her and make sure she’s okay.  She needs moral support.  She may need help or counseling with regard to nursing – there are specialists for that called Lactation Consultants – there is also La Leche League.

She’s likely to be bored and tired.  She needs your companionship.  She needs to REST.  You may have to force that one on her or she may love it.  She needs your companionship.  She needs food and water.  She needs to urinate regularly.

When the doctor or midwife follows up they’re going to seem oddly interested in bodily functions.  There’s good reason – they are indicators of overall health.  She’ll want to know if mama is peeing normally.  She’ll want to know how often the baby is peeing and/or pooing.

For the first day at least you’ll want to keep an absorbent pad under mama in bed.  She’ll be oozing blood.  The big perineal pads will catch most of it, but just in case…

Oh, one more tip: the first few baby poops will be black and tarry.  That’s normal.  They’re a pain to clean off of the baby UNLESS you put a little olive oil on baby’s butt.  I know it sounds silly, but this first poop is called meconium and it’s nasty and sticky.  The oil keeps it from sticking to the baby. 

Enjoy your baby!

Prepper’s Guide to Pregnancy & Childbirth – Part II – The Birth

Warning: I’m not embarrassed by bodily functions and I’m not grossed out by birth.  If you are either, stop reading now – unless you’re an expectant father – in which case, suck it up you wuss – you need to know this stuff!

First rule: if she wants medical care – you get some. 

Second rule: If the pregnancy has been abnormal, or something just seems “wrong” call 911.

Here’s the big question: Do you need a doctor during the childbirth? Answer: If everything is normal – NO.  In fact, when my wife teaches birth classes, I often sit in.  Many of her clients are second time mothers who had a bad experience with their first birth.  The bad experience almost always goes like this – so often that I’ve coined it a “snowball birth” because one step inevitably leads to the next and the whole mess gets bigger as it rolls downhill.  1) Doctor induces labor for no good reason; 2) Doctor gives epidural; 3) Mother fails to progress to Doctor’s satisfaction; 4) Doctor gives mother a drug to make her contractions stronger; 5) Mother can’t push effectively (usually a side effect of the epidural); 6) Doctor tells Mother she needs a C-section; 7) Mother feels like a failure and Doctor leaves for his golf game.

The whole process happens because the baby isn’t ready to come yet.

Also – most mothers who have had a “modern” birth – those with epidurals and doctors - will still tell you how much it hurt despite the epidural and often have complaints about the doctor being rough or rude or even threatening…e.g., “if you don’t push, I’ll need to use suction.”

When you talk to a woman who had a natural and uneventful childbirth – no drugs and a midwife, they rarely talk about pain…usually it’s pressure.  There are medical reasons for this that involve memory hormones.  Remember that blinky thing in Men in Black that erases memory?  The body has a hormone that does the same thing for pain memories.  If you have an epidural, it never gets triggered.

If you’re normal and healthy – go with a midwife.

But what if it’s an emergency – it’s going to happen at home and no one can come and help…

Okay…so hypothetically speaking, let’s say you’re about to have the baby at home and without the help of a midwife.  The pregnancy, up to this point has been normal and healthy.  Now what?

Even if you aren’t planning to deliver unassisted at home – remember that the baby may not have gotten that memo.

Supplies:

1. You need to own this book, have read it repeatedly, and have it handy.  Get the book and read it.  Yes, I’m aware it’s the 1958 version.  I promise, the process hasn’t changed since then.
2. You need something to clamp or tie-off the cord.  I’ve used dental floss and cord clamps.  I highly recommend the cord clamps.  You can buy them here.  You’ll want to order those ahead of time.  You need at least two.  People have used clean, unopened packages of shoelaces as well. Again, I recommend the clamps.
3. You need lots and lots of clean towels.  We used beach towels.  How many do you have? You need more.
4. You need a bowl to catch the placenta in.
5. You need tissues.  It’s quite possible she’s going to poop during labor.  If she does, she probably didn’t intend to and she probably won’t even realize it happened.  It won’t be very much.  Just grab it with a tissue and put it somewhere out of the way.  You don’t want it touching the baby and there is no need to embarass mommy.
6. You need a sharp pair of scissors and a way to sterilize them.  Alcohol works.  There will be no hurry at this point.

Process looks like this:

She’ll have contractions.  They may be fast coming, or not.  They may be hard or not.  They may be regular or not.  I know the movies say that they’ll be regular, fast coming, and painful.  They’re movies – not reality.  On a related note, the water may not break until well into the process of birth.  Occasionally, babies are born with the water in tact.  Don’t count on the water breaking to be a sign – that’s just in the movies.

First things first: what’s your job?  You are whatever mama wants and needs.  You make mama comfortable and hydrated.  You do not complain about your problems and you don’t share your fears with mama.  You are strong when she is not.  You are soothing when she needs to be soothed.  You just need to help get mama to the point where her body takes over, then you catch.

If you need to time the contractions, that’s fine.  Do it discreetly, and don’t give mama reports.  Above all, don’t tell mama she’s having a contraction or when one is about to happen.  It’s fairly likely that she already knows.

Watch mama…she’s likely to go through some telltale stages (these can last for more than 24 hours or be over in less than an hour):

Nervousness, insecurity, a sense of “I’m not ready” – I’m still talking about mama here, not you – focus!  These are all signs of early labor when they’re coupled with contractions.  She’ll likely be talking to you through her contractions…that’s because they’re still mild.  Have her rest, use the bathroom, and drink water.  Maybe eat something.  If that doesn’t stop the contractions, this is probably the real thing.  It could be 24 hours or 20 minutes.  It’s up to baby.  Your job it to keep her as calm as possible, comfortable, moving, and hydrated.  Help her walk around.  Close the blinds, lower the lights - if she wants soothing music, now is the time, wash your hands very well.  Gather your supplies – especially the towels.

There is also a period of emotional swings, if contractions were regular before, they may get irregular during this period.  That’s normal.  This is a transition period.  Contractions will get more intense.  She’ll likely stop talking during the contractions – you should too.

Unless she tells you otherwise, keep touching her – gently, soothingly.  Look for areas that are tense and help her relax them.  Tell her she’s doing great.  Tell her you love her.  Tell her you find her amazing.  Things like “you’re hardcore,” “you’re a trooper,” and “no pain, no gain” are probably ill-advised.  When the contractions get to the point that she wouldn’t move out of the way of oncoming traffic when she’s having one – you’re in the real deal.

At some point around this time, she’s going to shed her modestly – and likely her clothes too.  That’s why I had you shut the blinds earlier.  Keep her drinking water between contractions.

Now you should be watching/listening for a few things: 1) grunting; 2) clenched muscles during contractions … the same ones you clench when you’re trying to have a bowel movement; and 3) her saying “I feel like I need to poop.”  All of these are signs baby will be arriving very soon.

Then you’ll go into the final stage – and men tend to want to say “PUSH!”  She won’t have a choice but to push.  Pushing makes things feel better.  Her body will compel her to push.  This is not a 30 second process.  Our first child required more than 4 hours of pushing.  Keep her hydrated.

In the movies (and at hospitals) they put mama on her back with her legs up.  They’re stupid.  Nothing could be less helpful.  That position doesn’t use gravity to help and it makes the opening narrower.  Have her get on all fours, or better yet in a standing squat.  That opens the canal and helps baby come.  It makes it harder for you to “catch” – and that, by the way, is why docs put mom on her back.  Keep your hands properly positioned…babies can come out fast and you don’t want the baby’s introduction to the world to be a thump onto the floor.

The water will break at some point if it hasn’t already – look at it.  If it’s dark or brown, you may have a problem – but you already know that because you read the book, right?  Normal is slightly less than clear with flecks of white stuff that looks and feels like lotion floating around in it.

If you see ANYTHING other than a head coming out first, call 911.

Crowning – the part where the head is coming out of the opening – can be a tough time for mom.  For dad, it’s tough to look at – but get over yourself…she needs you now more than ever.  Believe me, everything will go back to normal after a few weeks.  Try to help her push baby out gently – too fast and you could have a serious tear.  In the end, the baby will come out however it wants.  But you can try. 

Follow the book’s directions on clearing the mouth and checking the cord.

After the head comes out, the rest will follow quickly.  Catch!  Your baby is slippery, small, and may come out with surprising force.  Don’t drop it. DON’T pull it out and DON’T yank on the cord.

Put baby on mama’s belly, cover it with towels or blankets and get ready to catch the placenta.  Mama will feel it coming.  She can be on her back for this part.

Keep your hand up and keep the bowl in place.  This can take up to 30 minutes, but when it happens it will go quickly.   This is the messy part.  It’s also the gross part.  Catch the placenta in the bowl.

You should expect about a cup of blood during this process.  That’s easy to say because a cup doesn’t sound like much.  It looks a lot worse than it sounds when it comes from someone you love.

Once the cord has stopped pulsing and goes limp, clamp the cord about an inch or two away from baby’s navel and then about an inch further than that. 

Sterilize your scissors and make the cut.

Mama will be shocky…make her warm and comfortable.  Hydrate her.  Orange Juice is good.  She’ll be pale and shaky.  She may alternate between being hot and cold.  Keep her warm.  She’ll still be leaking blood for awhile.  Don’t make her move until she’s ready – that could be hours.  Be ready for her to faint – you need to have hands on her at all times if whe’s walking.

At some point, she’ll need to pee.  That can be really difficult for a newly un-pregnant mama.  Something that makes it easier is a thing called a peri-bottle.  Basically, it’s a little bottle that you can fill with warm water and mama can squirt herself down there after peeing.

Big, thick pads  for her nether regions are important here.  She’ll still have some blood coming out.  These look like giant maxi pads and she’ll know what to do with them – you are still actually speaking to her aren’t you?  She’s a human being after all!  Some people even soak them in various herbal solutions and freeze them beforehand to use them as cold compresses – just beware of freezing the actual skin.  Or you could buy perineal cold-compresses.

Seek medical care if available.  Unless something seems wrong, there’s no real hurry here.  We didn’t even go to a midwife until 4 hours after our third child was born and that wasn’t really a hurry. 

The main concerns are baby’s breathing (usually indicated by color), overall health, and whether mama is doing alright post-partum. 

Nothing I’ve said here is to be construed as medical advice.  You need to consult a professional if possible.  These are just tips from my experience with my kids – all of whom were born healthy and without any serious complications.  I’m very lucky.

Prepper’s Guide to Pregnancy & Childbirth – Part I – Pregnancy

First of all – a warning – if you’re at all squeamish, probably better to move on until I post again.

Okay – I realize that as a man I may not be considered by some readers to be the most qualified person to write this post – but hear me out.

1)  I have four kids, all four of which I’ve helped to deliver, the last two of which were done at home, three of which were assisted by midwives, and one of which was done without any assistance at all.

2)  I am a trained EMT and have had classes on emergency childbirth.

3) I don’t really see anyone else posting this topic, so nya-nya-nya-boo-boo.

The first consideration is pregnancy itself.  You MUST approach pregnancy from the right perspective.  A normal pregnancy is not an illness.  It’s not a disease.  It’s just a normal process – and a beautiful one at that.  If you can keep this in mind, you’ll be a lot better off. 

From  a prepper’s standpoint, the thing you must address is what type of supplies and what type of support will the pregnant person need.

With regard to preps – the answer is simple: pregnant women need the exact same things, for the most part, that regular women need – just a bit more of it and sometimes in different forms. 

Let’s deal with the first concern:

Do you NEED a doctor during the pregnancy?  1) if the pregnant woman is otherwise healthy and you have access to a midwife, that’s the better route.  Doctors are trained to treat illnesses, midwives are trained to grow and birth babies.  You don’t go to a mechanic to buy a car, you don’t go to a veterinarian to buy a dog – why would you go to a healer to have your baby?  2) Women have been having babies for millenia without medical assistance.  That said, women in the United States normally aren’t very accustomed to the concept of birth and that can lead to fear.  Fear can lead to all sorts of complications.  Midwives are better at alleviating a pregnant woman’s fear than doctors. 

Personally speaking, I feel that pre-natal care, if it’s available is a must.  That doesn’t automatically require a physician.  Midwives are better equipped to soothe a mother’s fear and know a lot more about pregnancy and childbirth than most doctors.

Food: Good, nutritious foods from wholesome sources.  Whole grains, proteins, vegetables, and fruits.  Dairy isn’t a bad option either.  Lots and lots of water.  Eggs, containing everything needed to sustain life, are great things.  I would think a 10-15% increase in supply for all of these things for the pregnant person would be more than sufficient.  You also need a good supply of small, healthy snacks – I’ve never seen anything that works better for staving off morning sickness than regular, healthy snacking.  A hungry pregnant woman is likely a nauseous and/or cranky pregnant woman.  Pay particular attention to what types of things she’s craving – they can indicate where her dietary needs are not being met.

Vitamins: a good supply of pre-natal vitamins and probably an iron supplement are good plans.  The prenatal vitamin should help with morning sickness (CORRECTION: My wife rightly reminded me that prenatal vitamins actually make most women more nauseous – they’re still important though) and dietary deficiencies and the iron will help with a lot of things, not the least of which is slowing the bleeding after the birth.  I’d have a supply for the entire duration of the pregnancy.

Books: There are a couple of books I recommend for the pregnancy.  One is Husband Coached Childbirth.  The other is The Expectant Father.  The first I recommend with a caveat.  That book is the manual used by the teachers of the Bradley Method of childbirth.  The Bradley principle is a sound one and the book is great.  Dr. Bradley was an old farm doctor and he basically said, “Animals know what they’re doing during birth, humans are animals, let’s imitate animals.”  My wife and I took Bradley classes and she has even taught the method.  It’s a method I know and trust.  That said, there are some involved with Bradley that are fanatical and like many fanatics, they base their beliefs on outdated and/or misleading information.  They routinely cite medical studies from the 1950s, for example.  There are also those involved in the Bradley organization who are in it for the money, in my opinion.  The knowledge is good, just use your critical thinking skills in dealing with the people.  The second book I recommend because most books for Dads-to-bo take one of two forms – a) they try to be funny and don’t give out much information; or b) they try to be clinical and don’t offer much comfort.  This book is a good mix of both and has a lot of practical tips for Dads as well.  When one of my guy friends is about to be a daddy, I get them this book.

Another consideration is books dealing with what types of medications and/or herbs can be consumed or should be avoided by a pregnant woman.  I don’t have a good source to recommend here – but you can search amazon and find some.  Generally, if she can avoid taking it, she should.  Remember, hemlock is an herb.  That doesn’t mean it’s safe for baby.  Drugs and alcohol, of course, should be avoided.

Comforts:

Physical comfort is both difficult and easy.  From a clothing standpoint, have the mother-to-be spend some time talking to someone at a maternity store about how best to prepare for the changes that are coming.  Every woman is different, every pregnancy is different.  My wife typically looks like she’s carrying a basketball by the time she’s 4 1/2 months in.  Other women barely show at 9 months.  The tendency, from a male standpoint, is to buy sweats or something similar.  It’s practical and cheap.  If the pregnant woman is someone whose moods are affected by what she’s wearing, you may want to reconsider this approach.  If she’s not, you may still want to reconsider.  Maternity clothing is cheaply made and overpriced as a rule.  That said, the nicer stuff can help her feel beautiful – which, I’ve learned in 10 years, is extremely important.  This really should be HER decision and her opinions are not to be taken lightly.  Of particular importance: bra and underwear.  Also: pillows.  Lots and lots of pillows.

Bathrooms should be readily available and easily accessible.  Her bladder will be scrunched down to the size of a golf ball – remember this on long drives.

Emotional: Your otherwise sane and logical spouse/girlfriend will have moments of completely irrational insanity.  You are NEVER to tell her she is having one of those moments.  Just be reassuring, comforting, and patient.  She needs your support. 

Also – guys – most of the time, she needs you to listen – not to problem solve.  Offer comfort, but not solutions.  For example, if her problem is fear, the answers could be 1) you need to man up and be her rock; 2) she needs to educate herself; or 3) you need to simply say some soothing words. It could also be all 3 or none of these things. 

So what do you do?  First of all, stop feeling sorry for yourself.  She didn’t get this way all alone and YOU aren’t the one whose body is changing so quickly that it’s full of aches and pains and whose hormones make it tough to think clearly.  You aren’t the one who is about to squeeze something the size of a watermelon through an opening the size of a lemon.  Imagine what she’s going through.  Second – listen to what she’s saying and watch what she’s doing.  If she’s talking about fear and clinging to you physically, she needs you to be strong and soothing.  If she’s asking lots of questions, she needs you to be strong, soothing, and work with her to educate her (and yourself) about the process.  Common threads: listen, man up and soothe her.  Offer solutions if she’s asking.  A footrub or backrub goes a long way.  If all of that fails, toss her bite size pieces of chocolate and back away slowly.

Since I know it’s mostly guys reading – YES, you can have sex during pregnancy.  NO, it won’t hurt the baby.  YES, it still feels good for you and your partner.  YES, I’m sure it won’t hurt the baby.  Umm…spooning works best, that’s all I’m saying on that subject.  YES, she’s likely to still have a sex drive.  NO, it won’t hurt the baby.  I’m sure.

Men also tend to get focused on two things during pregnancy: work and money.  This is how we prepare the nest.  That’s fine, just realize what you’re doing and make sure you’re meeting her needs as well.

You don’t need to worry about the baby – you need to worry about the woman.  Her body will take care of the baby as long as you help her take care of herself.

Final thoughts -

I have nothing against medical doctors.  If I get hit by a car, take me to the emergency room.  But Doctors treat illnesses and injuries.  Pregnancy is neither.

While I strongly recommend against doctors for a normal healthy pregnancy, nothing I’ve said in this post is a recommendation for unassisted birth or for not getting prenatal care.  I’ve done births unassisted and assisted, and I much prefer the latter – just in case.  Again, pre-natal care, if available is a must in my opinion.

If there are complications with the pregnancy, involving a doctor where necessary is of course the right thing to do.

Part II will be the birth itself

Another season…

Another season of McDonald’s Monopoly has come and gone and I’m still not a millionaire.

I’m still alive folks, just got a lot going on. Keep checking back!

Elements of a Kit

It’s been awhile since I posted, but it’s been busy around the nest.

First, some news. It appears that my article, entitled The Next Generation of Backwoodsmen: Can the Call of the Wild Get Through When There is No Signal?, will be published in an upcoming issue of The Backwoodsman Magazine. No details yet, just an acceptance email from Charlie.

Now on to the post.

Be it an EDC kit, a survival kit, bugout bag, a 72 hour earthquake kit, an ultralight hiking load, or a pack for a week long hike through the Rockies – your ‘kit’ must address the same concerns – or at least be aware of the fact that your kit doesn’t address them.

Shelter/Fire
Water
Self-Defense
First Aid
Food
Rescue/Signaling
Navigation
Unique Requirements

Ideally, most of the things in your kit will satisfy or contribute to more than one of these.

So, when putting together your kit – or reevaluating one you’ve already put together, the name of the game is ‘Justify Your Existence.’

The goal: Evaluate each piece of gear, in light of the other gear and your skills and prove to yourself that it’s worth carrying.

Let’s break that down:

1) Evaluate each piece of gear – this implies actual thought and consideration. This is important. Too often, we get attached to our newest gadget and just include it in a kit because of our infatuation with it or because we spent so much money on it that we can’t stand the idea of letting it sit on a shelf.

2) In light of the other gear – as an example, a pot by itself is a water carrier and a signaling device A pot plus a firestarter is a way to cook food, purify water, and can perform a littany of other tasks.

3) and your other skills – you can’t include a knife in the shelter category if you don’t know how to build a shelter with a knife. The flipside here is dangerous. I’ve seen people leave cordage out of their gear based on the idea that they can make natural cordage. Let’s think about that. Natural cordage is great, but it takes time to find. If you can die of exposure in 3 hours, do you have time to spare?

4) and prove to yourself that it’s worth carrying – your attitude should be that of a heartless but cautious corporate CEO. You want at least two ways to meet every concern and you want to eliminate unitaskers whenever possible. Two is one, one is none applies to both redundancy and purpose.

Once you’ve finished, your kit will be stripped down to the necessities. That, however, doesn’t mean you’re finished.

You need to look at your gear and decide which skills you could learn that would help you eliminate other gear.

You need to use some of your gear and make sure it works.

Finally, you need to own your kit. What I mean by this is two-fold. First, you need to organize your kit in a way that works for you. Second, a good portion of survival is mental. You need to consider adding “luxury” items back in that will help keep you motivated. It’s little things that keep you going. Even a piece of candy can make a big difference.

I’ll be reevaluating my EDC in the coming days, and I’ll do it here to demonstrate the process.

Stay tuned!

Born Shooter

Took my 8 year old to an indoor firing range nearby that lets you rent guns. It was his first time, so we grabbed a kid sized 22LR by Henry. Single-shot, bolt action, iron sights. My goal was for him to have fun with dad and learn the fundamentals of marksmanship.

I’ve been spending an hour or two out of the house with each kid individually since the new one came. Making sure they all know we love them.

Anyway, I let my big guy put 50 rounds down range.

He’s been walking around repeating the steps I taught him all day: weapon on safe, open the bolt, insert the round, bolt forward, pull cocking handle, stock to shoulder, cheek to stock, weapon on fire, line up sights and aim, remember breathing, squeeze trigger, watch the shot, weapon on safe.

Check out his scorecard:

Peer Into My mind – RangerSquirrel

zFlea over at Be A Survivor Blog did a post entitled Peer Into My Mind, and I found it interesting to get some background into who he is.  It gave me an idea: Since I know many of the people who read my blog also read his blog, maybe we could all get to know each other a bit better if we started a chain of Peer Into My Mind posts.  Here’s mine:

I’m a 33 year old white male.  I originally posted this saying I was 34, but my wife assures me I’m wrong.

My undergraduate degree was in Political Science with a minor in Legal Studies.  I also earned a law degree, but I don’t practice law.

I think that astrology is a collection of observations about personality types that dates back thousands of years.  I don’t believe it can predict the future and I don’t believe that your personality is determined by when you were born.  Having said all of that, I am a Gemini by both birth and personality.  The definitive Gemini, in fact.  Communicator, able to see and hold opposing aspects of any situation, mood, or belief, constantly at war with myself, bores quickly.

Like a true Gemini, my political beliefs are all over the map.  I’m conservative on some issues and downright socialist on others.  If I’m forced to identify with a party, I think Libertarian is most accurate, but only because it gives me the most freedom to roam.

I can be an idealist and a cynic simultaneously.

I get bored with routine.  I need to be surrounded with dynamic people and dynamic situations.

I like the word dynamic.

My wife is my one true love and my best friend has been the same (whether I knew it or not) since I was 11.  Readers of this blog will know him as Drake Tungsten.  I make casual friends easily, but only two people have made it to my inner circle.  I like it that way.

I work in a job that I enjoy on a superficial level but that brings me very little personal satisfaction.  My company, however, takes excellent care of me.  401k, Pension, life, health, dental, et cetera.  I could even have pet insurance if I wanted it.  Frankly, I’d rather have a higher salary.

I am a father of 4.

My religious beliefs are in flux at the moment.  Most recently, I was Catholic.  I think I’m more spiritual than religious.

I’m a Veteran, but I’m happy to say that I never had to experience combat.  I would have fought proudly and without hesitation, but the situation never demanded it of me.  The unit I went to was the one that was turned around on the way to Haiti (that was before my time).  They deployed to Kosovo two months after I left.

I am a military brat and have had a total of 8 step-parents.

Like Flea, I have a 401k and I contribute the maximum my company will match.  To do anything else would be silly in my opinion … that’s free money baby.

I don’t think the government is my enemy – big corporations are.

I don’t wear a tinfoil hat.  Tin blocks nothing.  Aluminum is where it’s at.

I vote in every election with a few exceptions recently due to work demands.  I always bring my kids with me to vote.

I’m proud of the fact that I qualified expert with every weapon I touched in the Army except the Beretta, and I never got to fire that.  This fact bothered me so much that I once recreated the test on a private indoor firing range and qualified expert.  A quick count suggests that I qualified as an expert with 9 weapon systems, not counting the Beretta.

I don’t currently own a gun, but I love to shoot (and I’m pretty darned good at it).

I write poetry, fiction, and non-fiction.  I’m currently working on an article for Backwoodsman Magazine, an epic fantasy novel, and a wilderness survival manual.

I love movies.  Even bad ones.

My hobby is collecting hobbies.

I have a budding interest in HAM radio and plan to test for my technician license in early 2010.

I decided to join the military when I was 10 and began calling the recruiter every year until I was old enough to join.  I was something of a mascot for the Army Recruiter’s office and I outlasted 5 recruiters.

I signed my paperwork to join the Army as a junior in high school, 20 days after I turned 17 via the Delayed Entry Program.  I chose one of the most physically demanding and tough jobs in the Army (Infantry with an Airborne/Ranger option).  I was 5′10″, 118 lbs, and VERY naive at the time.  I began active duty 4 days after I graduated high school.

I left the Army 40 lbs stronger, 4 years older, and an inch shorter than when I joined.  I was also a lot less naive.

During Basic Training, I broke the neck of my right femur (the part just under the ball of the ball and socket joint in your hip) and spent 6 months in physical rehabilitation.  The break was not due to any accident or trauma.  It was simply a function of not having enough muscle structure to support the weight and stress of training to be an Army Infantryman.

Immediately after the injury, I was told I would likely need a cane for the rest of my life and that I’d be kicked out of the Army when I had healed up.  I graduated basic training and advanced infantry training 8 months later.  I don’t need a cane or even have a limp.  I do feel the injury when the weather changes though.

During advanced infantry training, I was told I’d never be cleared for Airborne School.  I graduated from Airborne school 7 weeks later and began the Ranger Indoctrination Program (RIP).

I was accepted into West Point while in the Army, but was later asked to resign when they found out about my hip injury.  Their reason was that I was not physically equipped to attend West Point due to my injury.  Then they sent me back to the 82nd Airborne to continue jumping out of airplanes.

I never attended Ranger School…see the who am I section of this blog for the explanation of my nickname.

I’m in a movie for about 1.5 seconds.  It’s a documentary called After Innocence.  The movie is about wrongful convictions – a field that I worked on heavily during Law School and the film crew showed up to my Wrongful Convictions class on the last day of class before my last set of final exams.  I was so distracted by the guest speaker that day that I completely forgot about the film crew being there.  Years later, my wife and I got the movie from Netflix and were surprised to see me in it.

I used to be obsessed with politics.  Currently, I’m disgusted by them.

I have very odd views about the justice system.  I think, for example, that less people should go to prison, but I also think prison should be harder in terms of punishment and less dangerous in terms of personal safety.  In other words, prison shouldn’t be fun or easy, but it also shouldn’t put someone in danger of being raped or killed – even rapists and killers.

I love the British sense of humor, and even some of the food.  I’d like the food a lot more if I liked lamb, fish, or organ meats.

I’m an odd mix of alcoholic genetic tendencies.  I’m Irish, Scottish, German, and Native American.  My father looks like a native american…dark skin, jet black hair.  I tend to be pale and freckled.

According to my Father, who has studied my family’s genealogy extensively, I’m related to both Robert the Bruce and Edward I (Longshanks).  See the movie Braveheart.

My interest in Bushcraft, Survival, and Preparedness is a direct result of having been unemployed and feeling helpless to take care of my family for a few months.  NEVER again.

I’ve had 4 years of Spanish and 2 years of German and I don’t speak or write either one…I can comprehend spoken Spanish fairly well though.

I suffer horribly from a seasonal disorder known as McDonald’s Monopoly.

So there’s a collection of odd trivia about a somewhat odd person.  Hopefully, if you ever wonder where my views come from – this post will give you some insight.

Because I’m sleep deprived…

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Baby Picture

Autumn Elizabeth “Squirrel”

New Squirrel

New squirrel has arrived. Baby girl. All is well with mama and baby.

9:48pm, 8 lbs, 3 oz., 20.75 inches, 48 mins of labor.

No name yet.

More to follow later.